


stillness of mind

by yee_hawlw



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Pre-Relationship, hand holding, just two girls sitting five inches apart on the beach because they are gay, vague episode 104 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:49:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25743859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yee_hawlw/pseuds/yee_hawlw
Summary: “Focus on something. One tangible thing. Drown everything else out.”Yasha waits, listening for any more instruction, but all more that she hears from Beau is the even, practiced sound of her breathing.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha
Comments: 7
Kudos: 192





	stillness of mind

**Author's Note:**

> I'm way late on a deadline for a fe3h event but I had to write some beauyasha after those playlists dropped. Beauyasha canon babeyyyy.
> 
> (If you are Beary or Sydney trust me I'm working on it ;w;)
> 
> Beta read by [**@favorite-terrain**](https://favorite-terrain.tumblr.com/) ****

Beau has Yasha sit down in front of her in the surf, knees almost touching. 

“You probably won’t get it on your first try,” Beau says. “Gods know that I didn’t.” She scratches the old stubble at the side of her head, now inch-long brown hair, stuck to her skin with a mixture of sea breeze and sweat. “Heh, gods actually know it took me years to _try_. But…”

The waves lap gently under the pair of them, weighing down and pooling the loose fabric of Yasha’s shorts. She traded in her leathers for more appropriate island wear as soon as they returned to their meager belongings at the beach.

Beau has maintained her leathers, although hers are revealed to be much shorter than Yasha’s own once her boots are placed aside. Sat cross-legged, the tight material rides up on Beau’s legs, drawing Yasha’s attention to the soft brown skin of her thigh pinched between the leather of her shorts and the hard flesh of the knee.

“...once you _do_ get it down, it should help you, in case somethin’ ever tries to mind control you again.”

Right. They are in the middle of a lesson.

Well. Just beginning it.

Yasha looks back up at Beau. Her eyes are the same bright blue as the surrounding waters.

“Thank you, for taking the time to teach me,” Yasha says gently. She looks down at her hands, lax in her lap. “Even if I am...unable to grasp it, thank you.”

“It’s no problem, Yasha, really. I really wanna...” Beau squirms in place under Yasha’s gaze a moment, reaching up to tug again at brown baby hairs.

Shaking herself, she gives a lopsided grin up at Yasha. “Ready to start?”

Yasha nods.

“Copy me.”

As easily as she takes her most basic fighting stances, Beau slips into a position that Yasha has only seen her take a few times before. Back straight, eyes closed, hands lax rested on her knees but fingers pinched together.

As prompted, Yasha replicates Beau’s position. She watches Beau a moment longer, waiting for any further instruction, before closing her eyes. 

“The monks at the monastery would always say stuff about how you have to ‘drown out all your surroundings,’ or some shit,” Beau starts. “Focus on within, but also drown all that out too. That shit never worked. I mean, it might for you, but it never worked for _me_.”

The bone of Beau’s knuckles bump against Yasha’s bare knee as Beau scratches at her own. Yasha squints open an eye.

“Anyway,” Beau says, “meditation works best for me when I drown out everything _except_ one particular thing. A sound, a feeling. A thing. My best track record is with the ocean.”

“The ocean,” Yasha echoes. She doesn’t look away from Beau.

“Yeah, the ocean.” Beau huffs out a chuckle. One blue eye peeks open. “It’s starting to not even sound like a word anymore. But yeah. Focusing on it is how I, uh…” Her face pinches, conflicted, and she glances away. “Focusing on the ocean is how I managed to break out of Obann’s control.”

Yasha’s brow furrows. Hesitantly, she covers Beau’s hand with her own.

“That is nothing to feel guilt over, Beau,” she says. Beau looks back up at her, frown still on her face. “I am...truly glad that you were able to shake his will.”

“Still...that you were stuck under his control but I …”

Yasha shakes her head. “No buts,” she says firmly. “If you had been under his control...I don’t know what I would have done. I would never wish that on you. You’ve no need to wish it upon yourself to level some kind of - playing field of suffering, you know?”

Beau sighs. “I guess.”

“Besides.” Yasha lays her hands back onto her own knees. “We are doing this so that this never happens again, yeah?”

Nodding, Beau also shifts back into position. “Yeah,” she says. She gives a slight grin before she closes her eyes. “Okay. Again.” 

Yasha’s eyes shut, too, allowing Beau’s voice to guide her.

“Focus on something. One tangible thing. Drown everything else out.”

Yasha waits, listening for any more instruction, but all more that she hears from Beau is the even, practiced sound of her breathing. Another gentle wave pushes the heavy soaked fabric of her pants against her thigh.

Resisting the urge to peek open an eye to glance at the woman across from her, Yasha tries to focus on the ocean.

The ocean is...wet. Relative to the sticky-warm island air around them, the water is cool and refreshing. Further up the beach, Jester and Veth are shouting at each other incoherently.

Pushed along by a low wave, a line of seaweed gets caught on Yasha’s leg. She opens her eyes, tugs it away between two fingers. It’s a green-brown and covered in a fine layer of sand. She tosses it back into the ocean.

She sticks her hand into the surf to wash off the leftover sand from the seaweed, looking at Beau. The sun, just beginning to dip into the ocean, casts a golden glow on the side of Beau’s face. Her eyes are still closed, breathing even, face relaxed. A gentle breeze ruffles dark brown hair.

Yasha quiets, and she looks.

After a few moments, minutes, Beau peaks open an eye, brow furrowed but grin sliding onto her face. “Ocean not workin’ for you, huh?”

Yasha shakes her head.

“How about you try your heartbeat?” Beau says. “I’ve heard that works for some people.”

Yasha shoves her hand just under the hem of her bandeau, presses over her heart. _Bump-bump bump-bump_.

“It’s beating pretty fast,” she says.

A puff of a laugh comes out through Beau’s nose. She opens her mouth to speak, then hesitates for a split second. She tilts her head.

She offers a hand, palm up.

“How about we try this,” Beau says. “Gimme your hand.” 

Beau’s hand is calloused. Despite Jester and Caduceus' best attempts, the skin of her knuckles and around her nails are a deep purple. Yasha could spend a lifetime tracing the lines of her fingerprints.

Shyly smiling back, Yasha places her own hand, palm up, in Beau’s offered one. Beau flips her hand over, two fingers pressed gently but intentionally against the blue veins on the inside of Yasha’s wrist. 

Yasha takes the hint and presses two of her own fingers against Beau’s pulse point, feeling as the tail end of the steady _bump-bump, bump-bump_ begins to speed up.

“Yours is also beating pretty fast.”

“Well,” Beau says. “Tends to do that around beautiful women.” Before Yasha can respond, flirt back, Beau rubs her index finger along the bottom of Yasha’s palm for a moment before returning to its place on her pulse point. “Now, just, focus on my heartbeat.”

Yasha stares into Beau’s eyes, feels the _bump-bump bump-bump_ of her heartbeat under her fingertips.

She closes her eyes, and drowns everything else out.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr here [**@yee-hawlw**](https://yee-hawlw.tumblr.com/) ****
> 
> Comments mean the world to me!!


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